it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
