Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
