after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
