some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
