Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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