ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
