I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
