i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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