on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
