Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
