she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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