You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
