Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
