By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
