Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Found your dick twin last night
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
