were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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