somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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