I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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