Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
