rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
