how can u be prego again
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
