So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
