I can tuck mytits in my pants
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
