Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize