theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
