I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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