That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
