If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There's always time for handjobs
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
