why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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