Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
