you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
