Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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