my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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