My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
