my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
