let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Randomize
