Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
