So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Girls should come with a carfax report
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
