I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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