so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
