hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize