At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
