I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
