And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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