My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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