Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
