Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
