I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
