Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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