her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
