Fine. I'll sleep in my office
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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