Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
