you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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