She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
