maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
