Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
