I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
