We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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