I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I need to align my fucking chakras
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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