I want to make a zoo with you.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
