Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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